You might be a redneck if...I mean I might be...

You might be a redneck if...I always wanted to think that I was just flirting with the distinction of being a redneck. BUT, NO...I'm a full blown redneck.

I might be a redneck if: I buy a car for $250 (yes $250 with title and license $366) and have to put $1000 (not really so far just $50) in it to get it to run
A window breaks in my house and put plastic up with duct tape and then the weather changes, it's too cold so a piece of plywood is put in it's place
There is a 1972 Motor home sitting in the yard being used as a storage shed...oh by the way it doesn't run
There is a 1995 Saturn with 250K miles sitting in the yard with a blown head
I had a burn pile right out the front door
My dog spends more time at my mother's house than mine
Same dog sleeps over at mom's house instead of coming home
I buy an electric gate opener and the gate stays open because the opener isn't working correctly.

Christmas thoughts

I didn't think that this Christmas was going to be a very good one. We had to tell Dara that she may not be getting anything for Christmas this year, because we are so broke. She told me that that was okay because Christmas wasn't about presents anyway. AWAWAWAW...is she not the greatest kid?

If if hadn't been for the adult ESL class that I teach twice a week, we certainly wouldn't have had the few things to give Dara that we did. I was able to get her a new staightener, a robe, slippers, and some eye shadow, and also able to get Don two pairs of Wranglers. I was sure that I wasn't going to get anything due to the fact that my family NEVER does anything for me. But they did surprise me with a pretty winter white sweater.

Dara told me that she didn't want anything anyway. She also told me that Christmas was about celebrating Jesus and being with family. I think I am the luckiest parent in the world to have a kid as great as her, when her 13 year old attitude isn't around, even then I still love her with all my heart and soul.

This was a pretty great day after all. We spent the day at my mom's new house. I cooked a prime rib roast, broccoli and rice casserole, baked potatoes, and the best cheesecake (almost as good as the vanilla bean cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory). After we sat down and ate, we cleared the table, did the dishes, and played a game of Chicken Foot and Yatzee. I don't remember a Christmas that was as pleasant as this one.

Being a child of an alcoholic, Christmas and Thanksgiving were the two holidays that I dreaded the worst. I don't remeber one holiday growing up where my dad didn't get so drunk that he became verbally obusive to my mom and then to us, mostly my mom. Holidays were a season of dread, fright, tension, constant tormoil, and such. This is the first one that I can recall that there hasn't been that feeling.

This has been a pretty good Christmas after all we have been through the last 13 months.

Secret Millionaire

I'm sitting here in my nice warm bed, and watching this new show called "Secret Millionaire". I don't know how long it's been on TV. Basically, they take multi-millionaires and have them follow the lives of people in need ie. homeless, Katrina victims who have not recovered from that one, etc.

Tonight they took a man who lives in California, and sent him to live in Las Vegas with only $45 for a week...the amount of a basic welfare check. He admitted to having at least $50 million. He is living in a roach infested motel, having to work off the $115 a week rent. He had no idea of how many people there are that are homeless, not the mention the number of teens who are homeless.

Wealthy people who have never had to worry about where their next meal, where the next car payment/house payment/electric bill payment, how they are going to tell their kids that there is no money for Christmas, have to eat a can of green beans because there is nothing else to eat, really need to go on this show and just see what the rest of the REAL world is like. They just can't comprehend what it's like to be without.

Now, having said this, the REAL world can't begin to comprehend what it would be like to not have to worry about paying the car payment/house payment/electric bill payment, what they are going to eat next and when, having enough money to buy their kids anything they want anytime they want it, etc.

It is such a humbling TV show, because I thought I had it bad. You get so caught up in your situation and life that you can't see outside of that to see that there are others who are worse off.
I just hope it's as humbling to them also.

Stealer of an idea

I read Whoa My Horses blog over the weekend and saw the Spin Cycle post. This got me to thinking about my kids at school. In Texas, our fourth grade students have to take a TAKS writing test. The mode of writing has always been a personal narrative prompt. So this got me to thinking that I could do something like this with my fourth graders and their writing.

I came up with a certificate to hand out at the end of the week to the best composition in each class I teach. Now we give out tickets like you would get a movie theater, ect. for homework done, doing something without being told, etc...as rewards for good classroom behavior. Then they can take the tickets and purchase things in our classroom store at the end of each six weeks. So, I though why not attach 10 tickets to the winning certificate. Now, I also thought well this would be a motivator for the ones who already are good writers, but what about the ones who don't want to put forth effort to try. So, I decided that if one person won the certificate/tickets then they cannot win again...they can receive another certificate but not the tickets so then I would have to pick someone else to receive the tickets. Then I would post it on my website at school for the parents to see.

I'm hoping this would encourage those that even finish a composition will attempt to do so. When I do my conferencing with them, it ends up that I do the revising and editing for them. And believe it or not, they let me!!! So maybe this will keep them from using me as their brain and imagination.

The theme for our certificate is based on the Spin Cycle idea. It is called Spin a Tale. I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings for using their idea and making if fit for my student's at school. I'm so so so sorry if I have. Please let me know if you would prefer me not to use it.

Wow is it Cold or what

Sunday was in the low 70's, beautiful, windy, beautiful, windy...that wasn't until around 2:00 in the afternoon. Yesterday, was so cold, and today there is ice on the cars, the grass, etc. We haven't gotten our skirtted done on the house yet so the floor is cooler than normal. Maybe this weekend we can get at least the north side done.

I'm glad to see the cold temperatures, at least now I can wear my Christmas sweaters to school. It is usually too hot to wear them.

YEAH the cool weather is finally here. I'm not a big fan of HOT. I can't do heat too well.

Jennifer just don't send the blizzard our way. I know you guys are getting some nasty weather up there. Although I would love to see it...that's all just see it. We went to Chicago for one Christmas, and it was 19 degrees...wind chill of -20, and we walked downtown Chicago. That was cold. It did feel like only 32 with a hard north wind here.

depression

I finally made an appointment with the doctor. I have not been feeling like my self lately. I could cry at the drop of a hat...one minute I'm somewhat ok and the next I feel like I have no hope left. I know people say you have a choice to either be happy or not, and that it's up to you to do it.

Well, I can agree with this to a certain extent. If it's just the blues, yes. But this is more than just the blues I think. I think ok, I'm going to clean house, clean my classroom, grade papers, file papers, clean off my desk, even go saddle my horse and ride, and then the "what's the use" thought pops up.

Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and not really something you can control. The blues, the blahs...yes you can control that. I took anti-depressants along time ago when Dara was just a toddler, and really could tell a big difference in how I felt. I had a whole new outlook on life, even the words that came out of my mouth were different...more positive sounding.

So with the loss of Don's job, being evicted from the mobile home park, my dad dying last year, Dara's jaw mishap, really tough parents (especially a co-worker/parent) at school, moving the house, the truck's clutch going out no money to fix it, the car's head or head gasket cracking, now not having a vehicle at all, Copper's/Dara's issues last year that Jennifer helped to correct (a huge thank you for that), phones being turned off then on again then off again then on again, working my full-time job plus a part-time job, the price of desiel, living with a teenage girl, Christmas coming up and no money for presents (we're buying one gift for only Dara this year), hospital bills from Dara's jaw piling up (last total for just the hospital that may be our part is over 24K), etc., etc., etc., etc.

NO WONDER I'M DEPRESSED.

Big headed co-workers

Don't you just hate co-workers who think that their shit doesn't stink? I have stundent in my homeroom who is the child of a teacher at my school. He constantly crosses the line between teacher and parent. For one, he got mad because parents weren't allowed to go to Domino's Pizza Ranch sponsored by the County Extention office, so he didn't let his "step daughter" go. This is not his child, just a step child. He got back at me by blasting me about her grades. Oh did I mention that she had an 88 average in Language Arts? Boy, that's really a bad grade huh? Not to mention this was on a 3 weeks progress report, not a grade on her report card. So, he proceeds to email me back and forth about how bad a teacher I am, etc. etc., and he sends ALL his emails to me and my responses back to him to the principal. Now any other time this would bother me, but my principal stopped me in the hall and hugged my neck because I have been the only one since he married another teacher on our campus to tell him off.

Well, this sets up what I'm about tell what he did yesterday morning. He came around while we were on our way to PE, and deleted the "games" from the Windows XP operating system. You know the ones that come preloaded when you buy a computer? He did this to all fourth grade teacher's computers. I haven't found out if he did it to all computers on the campus or not yet. I have been guilty of playing solitaire while the kids are working not very often though, or the last 30 minutes of my day AFTER the kids have left, or while I am on my conference period (this is where I can do anything I want), or the first 30-40 minutes before the kids enter the classroom. So, it's not like I play ALL day during class, it's mostly when the kids are not in the room on my time.

I'm not happy about it yes, but this isn't the problem. The problem is that he is so damn big headed, vindictive, asshole, did Imention asshole. He did this because I pissed him off with the field trip and telling him off. This is the only way he could get me back for that. If I find out that it was only the fourth grade hall that he did this to, then is it for sure that he retalliated against all 6 of us for not allowing him to go on the trip.

I really think I am totally burnedout. Teaching isn't what it used to be. Kids keep getting more disruptive, disrespectful, dumber, less and less common sense...parents are getting worse about not taking responsibility for their child's behavior, so quick to blame the teacher for their child's behavior, quick to say that we are all the worst teachers on the planet, and not wanting to hear anything about consequences their child received due to their child not behaving according to the Student Handbook rules and consequences. One parent told me that the only thing I must've learned in college is how to write demerits, "because you are so good at it". Another told me that the demerit their child got was uncalled for...let's not mention that they have 30 minutes before class actually starts for them to get everything they need for the day ready...let's not mention that Rule 3 in our student handbook says "Have all materials ready for class" (does this mean pencils, homework for the class they left my room for, etc.?), and I remind them about 6 times before they leave my room to get everything ready for math and science.

Okay I'm rambling...am I just the only one who sees this?

Jenn and Vegas

I tried to publish a post for you on your blog, but for some reason AOL wouldn't let me...who knows.

I just wanted to tell you I AM SO FRIGGIN JEALOUS. The two times I did get to go during the Finals was with two girlfriends. I was 29 and 30 at the time, and SO single. All I can I say is what happened in Vegas...stayed in Vegas.

I'm with Rachel...what is the "cowgirl" fashion statement this year?

Dara and her humor

Dara has the best sense of humor of any teenager I know. First, our horse shoer is not only our horse shoer, but he's her karate instructor. He has a bonifide mullet. The "party" in the back is only down to his collar. The first day back for her, he had his "party" in a pony tail...it was about an inch long. Dara had the best laugh about that. When class started, she made a comment about him having a pony tail and her's being longer. So it went from that to her telling him he looked like...he stopped her and said oh you aren't about to say Billy Ray Cyrus (not sure how to spell it). So he said drop and give me 50. (Push ups and other exercise movements are the ways they punish the kids for being disrespectful, not paying attention in class, being rude, etc.) She told him no...of course they both were laughing. So the whole time during their stretches he was counting 1 Billy Ray Cyrus, 2 Billy Ray Cyrus, 3 Billy Ray Cyrus, etc. It was the funniest thing. She was relentless with him about it. So, when class was over they have to salute the flag and their instructors, and recite their oath and tenet, and then after they they shake hands with them. So as she was walking up to him, she was humming "Achey, Breaky, Heart". He absolutely doubled over laughing.

At the end of last week, she told me that she needed money for lunch. So, I put money in her account through their website. Dara and I were in the car with my mom and sister, and they got to talking about Dara not having any lunch money and me adding to her account. My mom asked her why she didn't have any money in her account, and Dara said that she buys lunch for 7 kids. I knew she was kidding, but they didn't. So, Dara went on and on about buying them lunch. My mom and sister fell for the whole bit. Then on Sat. we went to the bank, and Mom proceed to tell me that she was so proud of Dara for doing that, but she really needed to stop. I told her that Dara was just kidding. She asked me if I knew it all along, and told her well yea.

Yep, you should've been there because it was a lot funnier in person. I don't know where she gets her humor, but she is one of the funniest teens I know.

Just when I thought things were looking up

I thought that the streak of bad luck was coming to an end. But NOOOO. To start off, Don installed an automatic gate opener with the remote control. Well, that isn't working very well. He has to keep readjusting the lock mechanism. I'm hoping that eventually we'll get it adjusted just right. Second, the car temp and add water lights came on about a two weeks ago...I think I mentioned this in an earlier post. Well, come to find out oil is getting in the radiator. We're thinking there is a cracked head gasket. But NOOO, it's worse, the engine mounts are gone. There is only one left, so that means that the head is possibly cracked. So that means at least $500. Thirdly, the truck clutch is gone. It is making a horrible smell like melting rubber. So that means more $$$$. So when is all this going to end?????

I have prayed and prayed and prayed about this. I have even finally given it to God where it should've been in the first place. So, my intellectual side tells me to quite worrying/thinking about and let God do His work, but it's so hard not to think about how all this is going to be paid for. Okay Debra...Let go and let God!!!

So, anyone who is reading this please pray for our situation. Thank you for your prayers.